By The Numbers: Laura Vincent

Laura Vincent (Ngāti Māhanga, Ngāpuhi) is an author whose work spans fiction, poetry, and food writing. She has written the food blog hungryandfrozen.com since 2007, and Hoods Landing is her first novel, published by Āporo Press.

1. How many podcasts do you subscribe to?

I’m all, “I don’t listen to podcasts” and then I counted 40 in my subscriptions, three of which are about Twin Peaks, six about musical theatre, and 14 of which haven’t updated in at least a year but which I like to keep around out of respect.

2. How many podcast episodes do you listen to on average each week?

About four or five depending on activity; and whether the film I’ve just watched is not so obscure that there aren’t a few podcasts about it kicking around.

3. How many people do you follow on TikTok/Instagram/Twitter/Letterboxd (choose/add applicable)?

1013 on Instagram, 634 on Twitter though it continues to dwindle as people leave, and 92 on Letterboxd.

4. How many caffeinated beverages do you consume, on average, daily?

If at work, roughly six pints of black filter coffee, on weekend it’s the occasional green tea at home or iced Americano if I’m out so the data skews wildly.

5. How many books do you currently have checked out from the library?

9, optimistically.

6. How many books do you have on hold from the library?

None, but if I can remember my password I want to get some Claire Thomson cookbooks ordered.

7. How many photos do you have in your camera roll?

43, 125 and the earliest is from December 2011, poetically it’s a photo of me and my brother from about 1992.

8. How many screenshots do you have in your screenshot folder?

8,706.

9. How many selfies do you have saved?

It says 5,769.

10. How many films have you watched so far this year?

11.

11. How many books have you read so far this year?

2.5

12. How many games have you played so far this year?

0.

13. How many songs do you have saved/liked on your music app of choice (Spotify/Apple Music/Tidal/Youtube Music et. al.)?

I have Tidal and use the save function to tell myself to remember something. There’s 476 songs saved.

14. How many playlists do you have saved?

I lost a bunch when I transferred to Spotify to Tidal but I have 69, so I guess I’m not suffering that much for lists of music.

15. How many shows or live performances have you been to this year?

Five and they were all EXCELLENT.

16. How many Discord servers are you in?

None.

17. How many streaming services do you pay for a subscription to?

Just Tidal, and I use the old ways for everything else.

18. How many apps do you have a paid subscription for?

I pay for YouTube reluctantly because its impossible to use otherwise even with, if not especially with an adblocker, and I need my stupid ASMR videos and unfortunately also can’t go back to the ascetic 90s mindset of maybe seeing a video you like once a year, I’m too used to the access.

19. How many newsletters do you subscribe to?

I think 9 or 10. I will always, always open Unsnackable when it comes through.

20. How many news outlets or online magazines do you pay for a subscription to?

Zero.

21. How many unread emails do you currently have in your inbox?

666 according to my phone, 8,226 according to my desktop.

22. How many total emails do you have in your inbox?

37,570 in my primary account.

23. How many emails do you receive on the average workday?

It’s 3pm and I’ve received 18 so far.

24. How many emails would you send on the average workday?

About 1. Sorry everyone.

25. How many contacts do you have saved on your phone?

210.

26. How many apps do you have on your phone?

51, including the ones you can’t delete.

27. How many tabs do you currently have open on your main browsing device?

67. It’s an object permanence thing.

28. How many voice memos have you sent in the last 24 hours?

None, I never send them unless someone sends me one and I feel obliged to match. As a frequent talker, I Love the idea of them in their but can’t extricate that feeling of ‘you’re in big trouble’ whenever one appears in my notifications.

29. How long was the last voice memo you sent?

I believe it was in December, a series of 40-second responses that couldn’t quite match the crescendo of equally long messages coming in, it’s a tumultuous medium but undeniably immediate.

30. How many times do you go to the supermarket in a week on average?

Too many, and I curse the bloodthirsty grip of the supermarket duopoly every time and indeed, also when I am not in the supermarket.

31. How many items would you purchase in an average supermarket shop?

Probably about seven.

32. How many unread notifications do you currently have on your phone?

About 29 not including emails but some of them are like, notification: you have a notification.

33. How many instruments can you play?

None. I used to be okay at piano. Now, I am not.

34. How many languages can you speak/understand?

Literally … one. I always get mad that I can’t store language in the same place in my head that I store the knowledge of how to tie my shoelaces or whatever, like if I learned Spanish once surely I should still know Spanish!!! Where did it go. Can I shift the file to another folder in my brain.

35. How many devices do you personally own that can connect to the internet?

Phone and laptop and I do mostly everything on the latter.

36. How many screens are in your household?

3 (slightly smashed screen for extending my laptop screen).

37. How many financial transactions would you make on the average day?

Even if I don’t, I do, because there are bills and bus fares and it’s hard to open the window and breathe the fresh air without experiencing it as a subscription-based model, but yeah it truly depends.

38. How many birthdays can you remember off the top of your head?

I reckon I could list about 15 or 16, more if I start thinking about all the notable people born on my birthday.

39. How many passages of text can you remember or recite by heart?

I have in the past been very good at memorising but haven’t had any call for it lately and like learning a language, the files quietly delete themselves. I can mouth along to Practical Magic and there’s a certain monologue in A Mighty Wind that I am confident to recite but not confident anyone needs to hear it from me specifically.

40. How many keys (or equivalent) are on your keychain?

Two (my apartment, gf’s apartment).

41. How many passwords do you have saved on an app that saves passwords? (as in accounts, not individual passwords)?

I went to check and they all had red exclamation points beside them and I got too panicky to them.

42. How many kitchen appliances do you have in your household?

Four, I think. This has reminded me I still don’t have a toaster.

43. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

About 8 and most of them are broken, whatever happened to SHOES NOT BREAKING.

44. How many pairs of socks do you have?

Anyone who knows this, I want to know what else they’re up to, like how else are you using your brain capacity and what can I learn from you.

45. How many condiments do you have in your fridge?

Both too many (can’t see ‘em all) and not enough.

46. How many pets do you have?

Tragically zero alive, but I honour the many, many dead and punitive tenant pet-laws notwithstanding I hope to correct this painful absence soon.

47. How many plants do you have?

Two, and they were both given to me. I know where I stand with nature (at a respectful distance).

48. How many steps are in your skincare routine?

Maybe three in the morning and two at night.

49. How many skincare products do you use on a daily basis?

My skincare routine was stupidly multi-serumed and masked and laborious when i was living with my parents in Waiuku and had absolutely nothing going on (for context, I don't drive). All that happened was I was anxious about how long it took and how expensive it was and how new ingredients kept appearing on the market insisting upon their necessity. By the time I got through removing companies from the BDS list and worked out what was actually working for me, the whole thing simplified a lot. Now I go days without moisturising and my skin looks objectively fine. Just jojoba oil to take off the makeup, tret, and a ton of sunscreen during the day (the Beauty of Joseon one). I do love skincare! Love ointments and pastes and goo. Would be happy to ramp it up again, but this seems to work.

50. How many cushions/pillows do you sleep with?

One bigger one, one smaller one if I feel the need.

51. How many times have you been in love?

Love morphs with you. The love I am in now is not the love I have been in. The important thing is I truly AM so in love right now, I mean that preposition literally, like love is a place that I live in.

52. How many hours on average do you sleep in a night?

4 hours if I’m trying to update my blog or finish a writing thing, 6 hours if I’m like, “I guess I can write tomorrow night instead” and then spend the rest of the evening and the following day stewing about writing stuff.

53. How many schools have you attended?

One primary school, two high schools, two unis.

54. How many addresses have you had in your life?

My parents still live in the house I was born in which is cool, both administratively and or nurturing one’s sense of heritage as tied to place. Personally though, tooooo many.

55. How many qualifications do you have?

I mean, I have a BA.

56. How many times have you broken a bone?

None (threateningly).

57. How many standing weekly appointments do you have?

There’s a cool knit night at Prosper in Ponsonby that I try to go to.

58. How many people do you message or check in with on a daily/weekly basis (choose most appropriate)?

About ten people on a weekly basis.

59. How many YouTube channels do you subscribe to?

27.

60. How long did it take you to fill out this questionnaire?

Ages, but I dragged it out.

Hoods Landing is published by Aporo Press. (Editor's note: I really love this book and recommend it to anyone and everyone.)