May 11, 2026 6 min read By The Numbers

By The Numbers: Jonjon Tolovae

Jonjon Tolovae.

Jonjon Tolovae is a Fa’afafine writer and artist based in Tāmaki Makaurau whose work interrogates the intersections of gender, cultural identity and diasporic memory within contemporary Pacific arts praxis. Her comedy show Man, I Feel Like a Woman is playing as part of the NZ Comedy Festival.

How many podcasts do you subscribe to?

Girl none lol
How many podcast episodes do you listen to on average each week?

I don't even listen to any podcasts. Now I feel like I should listen to some.
How many people do you follow on TikTok/Instagram/Twitter/Letterboxd (choose/add applicable)?

On TikTok, I follow 233. Instagram: 994 and Twitter hub is boring.
How many caffeinated beverages do you consume, on average, daily?

FY I never take caffeine for energy, I only drink one every morning so it can pass through my Patti La-bowels.
How many books do you currently have checked out from the library?

Oh my gosh. None, libraries give me anxiety. I went to the library for the first time in my whole life this year and it wasn't for books.
How many books do you have on hold from the library?

None. However, I do have a book from my school library that I didn't return 10 years ago.
How many photos do you have in your camera roll?

I have 507. I'm not a hoarder.
How many screenshots do you have in your screenshot folder?

65.
How many selfies do you have saved?

18.
How many films have you watched so far this year?

It's only been 3 months. No, I don't have a number. However, somebody uploaded the full film of Mulan on TikTok and I watched it. Actually I've watched Mulan 4 times already this year – lobr hrtz2
How many books have you read so far this year?

Probably none, unless shady Facebook aunty essays count.
How many games have you played so far this year?

The only one that counts is Minecraft, as I built a Hobbiton on there.
How many songs do you have saved/liked on your music app of choice (Spotify/Apple Music/Tidal/Youtube Music et. al.)?

36 songs. I have a particular flavour. It's mainly classical music.
How many playlists do you have saved?

I have 23 playlists for each emotion I feel during one day. My favourite play is "Mum who works two jobs".
How many shows or live performances have you been to this year?

I can't remember. I'm still feeling the whiplash of Auckland Pride Festival. And just knows, the girls were activated.
How many Discord servers are you in?

I think I'm only in one. The "MINECRAFAFAS".
How many streaming services do you pay for a subscription to?

None of them – I'm a scam. Shout out to my little brother!
How many apps do you have a paid subscription for?

I don't think I have a subscription to any of them. But I am always tempted to get Grindr Xtra ;)
How many newsletters do you subscribe to?

I know I get newsletters in my email, but I don't read any of them. I'm subscribed to the NZ Herald lol
How many news outlets or online magazines do you pay for a subscription to?

Just NZ Herald because one time I had to pay to see myself on the cover of VIVA Magazine. I know, she's a cover girl.
How many unread emails do you currently have in your inbox?

99+
How many total emails do you have in your inbox?

99+
How many emails do you receive on the average workday?

About 6 each day. But the real question is how many do I read?
How many emails would you send on the average workday?

Probably 1 really good one.
How many contacts do you have saved on your phone?

394 – but how many are actually ringing my buzzer? *Cue small violin*
How many apps do you have on your phone?

76.
How many tabs do you currently have open on your main browsing device?

There's only 2 open. One tab that is open is "How do I count how many apps are on my phone?" and the other one is iTicket.
How many voice memos have you sent in the last 24 hours?

I don't think I've sent any voice memos in the last 24 hours.
How long was the last voice memo you sent?

I don't know but I do remember that I drunkenly sent a voice memo to one of my friends and it was so long that it needed to be downloaded as a file. It could have just been a phone call.
How many times do you go to the supermarket in a week on average?

Oh bitch none. Absolute zero. You will not find me at the damn supermarket.
How many items would you purchase in an average supermarket shop?

There's usually 10 on the list that I sent to my brother. Shout out to my little brother again!
How many unread notifications do you currently have on your phone?

My favourite one is my text message because it's 333 - Angel number! But in total 473, not including the Grinder notifications that I've silenced.
How many instruments can you play?

Aww! None. Wait... I sing, so one? But I feel like I'd be good at the blowing ones :o
How many languages can you speak/understand?

3 - English, Samoan, Tongan.
How many devices do you personally own that can connect to the internet? (eg. phone, laptop, console, smartwatch, tablet)

Only 2, I'm so boring. My other devices can't connect to the internet... one's actually vibrating right now.
How many screens are in your household? (If separate from previous answer)

9.
How many financial transactions would you make on the average day? (incl. one-off purchases, recurring payments, bank transfers, etc.)

Shh! IRD is already on my ass!
How many birthdays can you remember off the top of your head?

0 *cue sad violin*
How many passages of text can you remember or recite by heart?

That's none of your business.
How many keys (or equivalent) are on your keychain?

I hold no keys. I have a car, I live in a house but I do not hold the keys to any of them.
How many passwords do you have saved on an app that saves passwords? (as in accounts, not individual passwords)?

I have heaps because I can't remember them even though all of them are the same password. Sometimes I don't trust myself to remember. Honestly one person just needs one password and they'll have access to everything.
How many kitchen appliances do you have in your household?

I have no idea how many. The only important one is the air fryer.
How many pairs of shoes do you have?

I don't wear socks. I already told you, I'm down with sandals. And if you wear socks with sandals... that's a choice.
How many pairs of socks do you have?

I don't wear socks. I already told you, I'm down with sandals. And if you wear socks with sandals... that's a choice.
How many condiments do you have in your fridge?

I don't keep condoms in the fridge. Here's to safe sex everybody x
How many pets do you have?

We don't have any pets. But we do have Mr. Prickles who's a little hedgehog that lives somewhere around our house and Puchii the stray cat that comes to visit. I do have 4 niblings that live at home – do they count?
How many plants do you have?

1 plant. Her name is Jerry Junior, not named after Geri from the Spice Girls. Named after Jerry Springer.
How many steps are in your skincare routine?

STEPS???
How many skincare products do you use on a daily basis?

3 – Usually cream, body oil, then lipgloss and perfume.
How many cushions/pillows do you sleep with?

6.
How many times have you been in love?

I've. never been in love. I'm an independent woman haha hehe haha (sad hehehe's)
How many hours on average do you sleep in a night?

4-6 hours.
How many schools have you attended?

I've only attended 3 schools.
How many addresses have you had in your life?

4.
How many qualifications do you have?

None, I'm useless. I gave up on university.
How many times have you broken a bone?

Do they count if they weren't my bones?
How many standing weekly appointments do you have?

STANDING???
How many people do you message or check in with on a daily/weekly basis (choose most appropriate)?

Usually about... I check in with Lijah, Renee - aww! There's heaps. I love my people x
How many YouTube channels do you subscribe to?